Ramadhan and Me

At two,

He had no clue

When all he could do

Was eat and poo


At seven

he knew about heaven

And was terrified of hell

Before dawn he was awake

Excited to the brim

Eating according to whim

A mission of deprivation

He was about to undertake

A test of strength, a test of will

Up until lunch was served on a plate


At nine

He was doing fine

Not yet thirty, but close

“If it weren’t for asthma”,

He’d get up and boast

Yet he was still a child

Mindless and wild...


At sixteen

There were no excuses

Yet many things had changed

No longer was there a physical burden

As challenges came from a new direction

The eyes began to wander

The mind driven asunder

Focus diverted from the plan

As youth threatened to derail

The true essence of Ramadhan


Today he turns twenty two,

Challenges that lay, again differ

But the heart of it all remains the same

In the best of months he hopes and prays

That the nights are filled with tears

Not of sorrow, but regret

Of the past mistakes, he cannot forget


Islamic Button Badges For Sale





Speak of the Devil - Part One

“Only two days left till ramadhan, you’d better eat as much as possible.” I whispered in his ear. He obliged. Despite the fact he was relatively full, he still obliged.

That was the first test. And he was weak. His lust for food was only the tip of the iceberg. I knew I could get him to do more. Asr was approaching. I smiled as his eyes grew heavy. I made him forget that he had slept for more than 8 hours last night. Alas, I couldn’t get him to miss Fajr, but I did enough to make sure he didn’t make it to the mosque this morning.

As the call of Asr reverberated through my ears, my time was up. I had to run. It hurt too much. But I had done enough. I retreated to my home feeling secure that he would be too weak to overcome his ‘fatigue’. “I’ll be back, you have a good rest now,” I whispered again before leaving.

I waited with the others for the athan to finish. I still have a lot of work to do. Ramadhan is coming. Not my favourite of months....

“Ramadhan is coming, you’ll have plenty of time to read the Quran then. Relax. Switch on the television. Your favourite show is up next,”

I was still at it. And he was oblivious to my tricks, slowly being lulled into a false sense of security. I had made his heart fall in love with the world.

Ramadhan came. I was chained.

Helpless? Or so he thought. I could no longer whisper sweet nothings in his ear. But I was sure that I had done enough. I was confident that he would lose out to his lust. He didn’t need me to be there for him. I had polluted his heart enough. Eleven months of hard work would finally pay off.

Yes, I was chained....


To be continued.....

A fickle thing called Football

In Dublin I play evening football with Malaysians. In Malaysia, I play with foreigners. Call it irony

The United Nations

The field in SS15 is a stone’s throw away from a handful of private (read :expensive) colleges. This means a plethora of students from all over the world (mostly third world countries) gather in the place I call home. The huge number of shops around that area also attracts Indonesian and Vietnamese (read : cheap) labour.


Errr...

Right. I’m trying to find the most politically correct term for them. I will resist the use of the ‘n’ word though. Black? African? Coloured?.....Hence the conundrum. I’ll stick with African. I’m sure you get the picture.


Ya Hajee

“Ya hajee, pass the ball”, says African-with-bright-green-Adidas-shoes

The Africans outnumber everyone else on the field. Even the Indonesians. Most of all, the locals. Yeap. The dwindling Malaysian population in and around the field leaves many questions unanswered. The boys have turned to men. Working men. Which means less time for leisure. I do miss the guys.

The purpose of this post? None whatsoever.

O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things). 49:13

Ada apa dengan Kelantan?

Si kecil bernama Alya



“Jahatnye, macam serbuk cili!” Alya yang tidak puas hati dengan kelakuan watak jahat dalam kartun animasi bertajuk Delgo.



Serbuk cili. Haha. Aku hanya membiarkan anak makcik urut itu berceloteh. Kerana aku suka akan budak-budak yang berceloteh. Comel. Usah dibiarkan begitu. Aku sengaja menanyakan soalan supaya ia berfikir. Merangsang mindanya yang masih muda. Segala macam komen keluar dari mulutnya. Aku hanya mampu tersenyum.



“Alya suka warna milo...”



Accent Kelantan. Sekali lagi, aku hanya tersenyum. Layan



"Abang, jom lukis-lukis. Abang lukis ikan. Alia pilih warna." Layan



....


Perjalanan ke Kota Bharu



Aku hampir tewas pada pagi itu. Bengkak pada lututku menjadi-jadi. Hati amat berat hendak melangkah keluar rumah menuju ke Kota Bharu. Ujian baru sedikit. Terpaksa mengambil teksi ke stesen Putra. Mahal. Tetapi tidak mungkin aku mampu tahan berdiri begitu lama dalam komuter yang pada ketika itu dipenuhi mereka yang ingin ke pejabat.



Aku selamat sampai. Lewat sehari. Tetapi selamat.



Kolej Jaiputra





Kolej milik ikhwah ini tidaklah mewah. Tetapi suasananya sangat tenang. Tiada bunyi kereta. Tiada bunyi hon. Udaranya segar. Pemandangan typical sebuah kampung di Kelantan. Sungguh, aku amat menghargai setiap saat di sana.



Walaupun aku dibesarkan dalam suasana yang boleh dikatakan mewah, jiwa itu lebih tenang apabila ia “dekat pada fitrah”, bak kata Azmi. Nafsu lebih mudah ditewaskan dalam keadaan serba kekurangan. Tiada katil empuk. Kipas yang satu dikongsi lapan. Berselimutkan kain pelekat semata-mata. Alhamdulillah. Mudah celik mata.



KIBAR 2009





Kursus Intensif Bahasa Arab, anjuran KONSIS Network ini sememangnya program ‘kemuncak’ tiap cuti musim panas. Alhamdulillah. Kesampaian juga hajatku untuk bertemu sahabat seperjuangan yang seakan terlalu lama tidak bersua. Diberi nama Ukhuwwah.




Kem komanden yang akhirnya meletak jawatan kerana tidak sanggup menghukum. Hidup Sirri!





Hanya di Kelantan. Goalkeeper berkalung serban.





Perlawanan bersama ikhwah Kelantan. Team bola yang terdiri dari lepasan pondok. Mengaji Kitab. Hafaz Quran. Terpegun aku dibuatnya.






Kedatangan murabbi-murabbi yang juga kurindui sedikit sebanyak menyuntik semangat ke dalam jiwa yang kian futur dengan enapan karat-karat dunia yang mengasyikkan. Risalah dan kitab dibedah. Menjadi bekalan untuk dibawa bersama bagi meneruskan perjuangan di bumi Ireland kelak





Ustadz Alias, nama yang sinonim dengan gerakan dakwah di Malaysia begitu bersemangat menyampaikan pengisian buat kami yang dahagakan tarbiyyah dan fikrah. Usianya yang lanjut langsung tidak melunturkan semangat dakwahnya yang kekal marak sejak dari bangku sekolah lagi. Moga-moga aku mati dalam keadaan bekerja untuk Islam.



Muhasabah



Perjalanan ini masih jauh. Teringat aku pada tajuk ‘Noktah bidayah As-Sohihah’ yang pernah ku dengar suatu masa di KMB dahulu. Titik tolak yang ‘sohih’. Yang berlandaskan akidah yang benar. Pemahaman yang jitu. Atas kalimah yang agung.



Mana mungkin api dakwah dalam diri dapat dikekalkan sebegitu lama kiranya permulaan, atau niat tidak diluruskan


.

Para aktivis di peringkat pelajar memang ramai. Itu lumrahnya. Kerana semangat juang para rijal atau pemuda tidak dinafikan dapat memberi ‘impetus’ atau galakan yang secukupnya untuk bergerak demi agama.



Namun system ‘tapisan’ illahi yang secara sunatullah akan memilih mereka yang benar-benar komited ke jalan ini. Apabila datang bebanan kerja. Bebanan keluarga. Pelbagai fitnah dan mehnah bakal dihadapi kelak. Pada ketika itu, ramai antara aktivis akan ‘gugur’. Itu fakta. Dan aku seharusnya takut akan fakta itu.



Kemudian apabila Talut keluar bersama-sama tenteranya, berkatalah ia: "Sesungguhnya Allah akan menguji kamu dengan sebatang sungai, oleh itu sesiapa di antara kamu yang meminum airnya maka bukanlah ia dari pengikutku, dan sesiapa yang tidak merasai airnya maka sesungguhnya ia dari pengikutku, kecuali orang yang menceduk satu cedukan dengan tangannya". (Sesudah diingatkan demikian) mereka meminum juga dari sungai itu (dengan sepuas-puasnya), kecuali sebahagian kecil dari mereka. 2:249



Begitulah ujian Allah terhadap keturunan Bani Israil. Dilantiknya Talut sebagai ketua mereka. Itupun dibantah. Disuruh taat akan arahan Talut supaya tidak minum kecuali sedikit ketika melintas sungai. Ingkar juga. Dan apabila berhadapan tentera Jalut yang ramai, berkurangan lagi jumlah tentera Talut akibat ketakutan. Tiga kali tapisan. Yang tinggal hanya segelintir.



Begitulah jua keadaan sekarang.



Tekad



Tidak. Aku sekali-kali tidak berniat untuk mengundur dari jalan yang kupilih ini. Tetapi hakikatnya aku masih belum diuji. Perjalanan aku ke sini tidaklah mudah. Tetapi jika dibandingkan dengan cabaran yang bakal dihadapi, aku takut. Ya, aku takut.



 

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